"One can dream of something more terrible than a hell where one suffers; it's a hell where one would get bored."

Hoooo~

Well done Kurotsuchi-san, well done~ You found it...~♥ Hopefully this will get those pesky little lawyers off the case eh? Everyone agree?

It's really cold.

Team! Your dearly beloved manager has had a strike of genius~ It's time for us to bond properly as a unit wouldn't you say?

( Private to Shihouin-sama )

( Private to Ryuuken )

( Private to Isshin )

What a glorious day!

Kind of makes you feel happy being alive and being able to fill your stomachs with warming food, ne?

In other news, Shiba Kuukaku is back in the fold. Jinta-kun, Ururu-chan I would like for you to meet her. I'm sure you'll get along just fine No~... Ogling does not make for a great first impression, Jinta ♥

( Private to Ryuuken )

( Private to Retsu )

Coffee Shop Update

Thankfully the bleach escapade in the coffee house has all been resolved, though really it could be argued our problem seemed all a little trivial compared to the explosion yesterday in R&D. Aiyaa, whatever could.. Mayuri-san~? have been doing?

Business is thriving, naturally, as we still provide you, dear friends and colleagues, with all your snacking, lunching and drinking needs upon these cold, cold days~

I must say it also feels rather positive to have a nigh on full complement of staff..

Though, Jinta~kun~! It appears Tessai hasn't had that a extra pair of hands helping him, as we had discussed. The poor man has been run off his feet on his own. Go and help him~♥

Ururu, if you wish, you can help with serving today. Remember those tricks to memory we ran through? Also, I take it you haven't come in in the same sodden clothes as before? The shop really doesn't need an employee off with a cold~♥

Karin-chan~ Can you call in with your rota as soon as possible? We still need to discuss your timetable and salary again~♥. If you could come in today or tomorrow, in time for the tax deadline my grumpy old friend is enforcing upon us I would be most grateful~

--------------

( Private to Ishida-san )


Retsu. I don't believe I have ever wished for a drug test to come around so much before..♥ It's remarkable the amount of.. reading I've got through this week~

Business first: Coffee Shop Update -

During these winter weeks, you can expect plenty of delicious and warming foods, such as soups, stews and Tessai's obligatory curries upon the menu.. even the really, really spicy ones that I know a few of you like~

Orihime-san's cupcakes are.. well, they are.. green? What exactly are these delights~?
Edit: They are matcha flavoured cupcakes, quite obviously. Quite tasty as well, so get them whilst they are still.. green.

Also, Izuru-kun, may I have a word sometime soon?

Pleasantaries second:

So, first morning back, and already everything is teeming with activity. I do hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday, and that those New Year resolutions were all readily breakable suitably virtuous ♥

Such activities I already have booked up!

Ice-skating 'n' tea - Ukitake-san, have you ever seen Blades of Glory?~

Friday night poker game - Ryuuken, Isshin, I presume you will both be attending?
Actu~ally.. Ryuu-chan - why don't you invite Rangiku-san? She can handle her drink, she can handle you so I'm damn sure she can handle her cards as well!...

What say you Ran-chan.. busy Friday night? ^^

And how could I forget
Random drug-testing - It really will be my pleasure seeing you again, Unohana-sensei~ So kind of you to provide such an opportunity ♥

Well, what a good night the party turned out to be. My thanks to you all for attending and creating such a delightful atmosphere.. I hope you all had as good a time as I did~

Special thanks to Hitsugaya-kun, Karin-chan (well, well, weren't you two getting along just nicely?), Kukkaku and of course, Yoru~ for assisting the set up. Oh yes, and particular thanks to Sado-kun for working with me to clean up the following day.. such a helpful man, you are~ (I do hope the brownies I made for you in thanks went down well?)

( Private to Matsumoto-san )

( Private to Ryuu-chan )

Yet, now I feel a little... hmm, worn out? ^^; Unohana-sensei, as discussed, I shall be visiting... shall we agree here - the last appointment of today? that way, we can take as long as is required to ensure I am as "fit as a fiddle", as you so call it ♥

I have come to the conclusion that... shopping is fun.

More specifically shopping with Matsumoto Rangiku is fun~ Honestly, Rangiku-san, I don't know why you couldn't find a willing partner to accompany you.. they really don't know what they are missing, ne?
(I find it particularly amusing that we were promptly evicted from not one, but two reputable clothing establishments~♥)

Coffee Shop Update:
Preparations for the party are underway.. I have still yet to receive song requests from a number of you, dear colleagues. Without suggestions I fear I may have to resort to inundating you with jazz tracks after all~

Isshin - I know you can't resist Daddy Cool by Boney M hmm?
Ryuuken - presumably you have some musical interest..? Though, please nothing too depressing.. (thankfully you are of an age to not be suckered into youth culture, otherwise I'd likely be having to root through to find emo music, and I do have my limits~)

Coffee Shop Update

Business as usual... Well, then there is the little matter of the party~♥

I trust by now you have all seen President Yamamoto's notice. 7pm, this Friday in our very own Seireitei Coffee Shop. BYOB, and everything else will be catered for!

Carrying on with this good spirit, I would like to propose a musical selection... chosen by all of you. It just would not do to have everyone sitting around listening to my obscure jazz collection so please put any song requests here.

To start things off -
Love Cats - The Cure (Yoru, I take it you would not object?)
La Bamba - Ritchie Valens (in case anybody wishes to salsa~)

Oh, and Ishida-kun, Hitsugaya-kun, if you could help this inept Coffee Shop Manager set up the sound system I would be most appreciative

On other notes

Isshin, Ryuuken - have you two kissed and made up yet? Or do I still have chance to witness that special occasion? ♥

Oh and, Ryuuken.. I hope you didn't stay too late on Friday, after the day you had..

Are you planning on joining us at the party, Unohana-sensei?

Coffee Shop Update: Shihouin Yoruichi, has returned from her vacation, so, most pleasantly, we are nearly fully staffed again. Kuukaku, have you heard from Ganju-san at all?

I realise that for many of you, it may seem like a chore to walk all the way down stairs to come visit the Coffee House for a break, seeming as the lifts are once again out of order, but ladies and gentleman a bit of exercise never did anyone any harm~ And, as the standard is of it's usual high quality, I can assure you it really is worth the effort ♥


Isshin, I haven't heard much from you since the poker game... still sore that you lost? Ah my, you know canny luck can only get you so far, old friend~ Come down for a drink sometime yourself, as opposed to making Rukia run your errands for you (can't have you getting out of shape now, can we?~)

Ishida-san~ any thoughts on what we discussed at the game (and, indeed, Friday before that during our very pleasant smoking break)? Just because you wish to avoid such discourse at all costs, you know that will not stop me from prying.. ♥

( Private to Unohana )

Colleagues of SSI.

Is it my pleasure to inform you that the Health Inspectors have passed the Seireitei Coffee House. So business is as usual. I thank-you for your ongoing patronage.

( Private to Coffee House Employees )

( Private to Unohana-san )

Isshin, Ryuuken, Ukitake-san, Kyouraku-san, Kuchiki-san - have we another poker night on the cards? With Yoruichi away I am very willing to host the game at ours... I realise it's Ishida-san's turn but it will save us rattling around his empty mansion~

I must say I don't feel that a coffee shop update is entirely appropriate, given the circumstances, but, work must go on.. so as always, the coffee shop is open and selling its usual irresistible fare. Please drop on in.

Ukitake-san just let me know if you want to pop down for tea. Naturally, if you are planning to visit the hospital will you send my regards to our president?

On a more personal note, Friday was certainly.. entertaining.. my thanks, Unohana-san~ Although, I believe I bumped my head when.. ah my, either that, or I have a three day hangover~ How are you faring considering the recent news?

Ryuu~..ken, say, did you enjoy your weekend~?

( private and enc. )

Esteemed colleagues and guests.

Due to the frantic deluge of people thirsty for cool drinks on this hot day, I would like to inform you that we will have a self service bar open for bottled and canned cold refreshments, such as soda, water etc.

I will be manning said self service bar, so consider this a free for all at your own peril ♥

For the other refreshing cold drinks that we serve (iced coffees, smoothies and shakes) they will be made fresh upon order, as per usual.

( [Private and encrypted to Unohana] )

( [Private and encrypted] )

Yoruichi~ Could you be so kind as to open the shop up on my behalf? ♥ (I'll come and poke you awake.. aiyaa, it's really too early in the morning for this.. *sigh*.. naturally I'll make it up to you - milk, tickles? Whatever you want..)

Having struggled through yesterday in the back "office", with terrible aches and pains, I truly feel that I need my bed. HR are going to have a field day it seems, for I have caught the flu.

Doctor Unohana-san, explain to me if you will why I have gone through many years without so much of a sniffle with all these full blown viruses floating around, but as soon as you inject me with an attenuated version I end up poorly? It really is most disagreeable... maybe Byakuya-san was right, your jabs are indeed something to be feared! ...will you come look after me?~♥

Kuukaku, Karin-chan - please do your best in your poor manager's absence! I have faith in you (but if something untoward does indeed happen, you must let me know, I will still be very much contactable...)

Employees of SSI (and your guests) - it will be business as usual at the Coffee Shop! So feel free to drop by for your morning, noon and afternoon sundries.

( Later in the day Edit. Private to Yoruichi AND encrypted, yes.. that's right, encrypted Rukia~♥ )

It seems that tensions have begun to run high here at Soul Society Inc. (tsk tsk..  Productivity must surely be affected)

Therefore, I would just like to inform you that we are serving calming concoctions in the Coffee Shop - including herbal teas, chai, tonics, soups and sundries... and all at a remarkably soothing price!

I cannot of course guarantee that Yoruichi will be any less vigorous in her table service, but as we all know that she is as agile as a cat and as swift as lightening, I am quite positive that she will not cause any undue anxiety. (Well, of course, not unless she wants to play~~)

Hope to see you in the Coffee Shop.

At your service, as always.
-Urahara Kisuke

Oh my!! I just love it when people come to visit! Such a hustle and bustle was had by all..

 

Yes, you've got it.... I am of course referring to last weeks press conference...
Be still my beating heart!!~♥♥~

Naturally my fantastic team of experts were on hand to serve those hungry hands and eyes with coffee to clear those peepers (all the better to spy on you with...) and nutritious food to warm them to our cause!

They didn't need warming up too much it seems (hasn't it been hot, folks?!), but Tessai's curries did the job.... SPOT ON!!

Oh yes indeed... Sweating!

My my come on... do not be squeamish...  it's good for you people! Why do you think they have curries in hot countries? hmm~ You get cooler from the air convecting off your wet skin, it unblock your pores and rids you of impurities. Quite remarkable for your complexions.. although most of you delightful people have beautiful skin already~ Ah me, the wonders of the human body!

Anyway it's always a great thing to be surrounded by new faces, yes it is! Not only that but the money we made (OH HELL YEAH) will keep me in pipesmokes, Yoruichi in cream and Tessai in a fresh apron for many a new moon to come!

On a brief aside - for those of a more sensitive disposition - Tessai is rustling up some summary salads alongside the usual fare, although I cannot be held responsible for any extras you may find. I warn you in advance, and advise that you take heed ♥

 

Looking forward to seeing you all again, ladies and gentleman..... for I am at your service!